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I hear wedding bells...

Okay, I'm already happily married. but a girl can dream. I have a Tony Robbins addiction. Seriously, it's an addiction. Every morning when I'm feeling down, or stressed and I'm dragging myself to sit in front of the computer I turn this man on. He seems to always know what to say right when I need to hear it.  Yes, of course I watched "I am not your Guru" on Netflix as soon as it was available - and yes I did ugly cry through over 50% of it. You see one of the biggest reasons we fail as entrepreneurs is not because of resources like money or connections. It's not even about bad backend processes or social media. (You probably know several successful companies with a bad social media campaign.)  Yes those contribute but the main reason we fail and normally why those things are wrong in the first place, is because of our "stories". What we tell ourselves about our business.  "Entrepreneurship is so hard." "Money is hard to come by." "Maybe I'm just not good enough." "Maybe this isn't for me" "Why can't I be successful?" "It's too hard" "I can't do this" "I'm alone, and no one even understands." "I can't afford help" "No one wants to help me." "No one cares if I succeed." "I have no support." "Maybe I should just quit." On Monday I was in a meeting with Northwick marketing, and it was amazing. He was showing me things I wasn't even aware were possible. But in the back of my mind I was saying, "I can't afford this, I can barely afford groceries, and he wants $1250 a month." I decided just to listen as hard as I could and gain all of the knowledge I could so maybe one day I could afford this. It felt sleazy and uncomfortable like stealing, but I didn't believe there were any other options. That morning I only had $26 in my business account, and close to the same in my personal checking. That $1250 could have been $12,500,000 the way I was feeling.  I'm sitting in this meeting and it dawns on me, I need this. I can make the $1250 10 times over if I just follow these steps. He's fixing things I never even knew were wrong. I'm a hard sell in marketing because I have done so much research. I was certain that I already knew my limitations and shortcomings. But here this guy was showing me things I hadn't even thought of. At the end of the conversation I was distraught, I needed him, I couldn't do this alone. My clients needed him. Maybe I can save and do this next month I thought. Or next year - no matter what I would do this. Did you catch the shift? The $1250 that was $12,500,000 to me at the beginning of the conversation was now suddenly feasible. I was mentally breaking it down, "That's just 2 $625 payments, I can get $625 twice in a month... maybe in October I'll have it...." At the end of the conversation, he's asking me what I thought, and if was it valuable. I'm rubbing my forehead trying to figure out how to say "Yes this is great, but I'm poor." As I'm beating around the bush, it comes to me - just say it. So I told him, I want this but I cannot afford it. And he says, is that it? I reply yes, and I believe if I hire you I would be able to pay the $1250 easily each month, I'm just not able to do it today. He pauses and says, okay I'll do this for you for $497 for your first 30 days, can you pay that? I'm thinking, "That's amazing, I'm sure I can come up with that in the next 2 or 3 weeks. Maybe he won't mind if I wait to start. Maybe I can use my credit card, there isn't much on it, if he can't wait."So I agree, my mind totally shifted, "I'll just put it on the card, it'll pay for itself." But then I thought, "I really need to keep my business expenses in my business account. I don't want this to be a problem in the future with taxes." I sighed and just said, "It'll work itself out." A few hours later I start getting calls and emails from people wanting to pay for services. At 11:00pm that night I had $463 in my business account. That was God working. That was me having faith, and taking a chance. This is what happens when you shift your thinking. When you believe that things will work out for your good. When you stop listening to the stories we tell ourselves about what won't, can't, shouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't work - and do. Suddenly I'm empowered, I'm updating my website (blogging, lol). I'm taking a new perspective on my accounts, and things are falling into place.  So let go of the lies we tell ourselves. You CAN and WILL do his, you CAN and WILL succeed. I believe in you.    

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how to communicate about #blm

A Mata Designs Best Month Ever

As a black woman who has a black and Mexican son, watching these videos of police shootings and rioting has me completely broken up. On the way to a meeting I was driving down my street, windows down taking in the fresh fall air. I'm old school - or what's now old school it seems - and I still like to turn up my music and feel the bass rumbling in my trunk. Yes, I'm sure it's annoying to some, but I want to be immersed in my music, especially when it's feeling good to me. So I had Hideaway by Kiesza blasting from my motivational work playlist on Spotify (you can listen to it here) just car dancing like a professional! I looked up at the light and saw a police SUV across the intersection as I pulled up, just when it switched to I got the keys by DJ Khaled. Immediately I reached to turn down my music and tried to think of another track to switch it to, and then I paused. This isn't right.

 

I was afraid that because he heard my hip hop music and saw the silhoutte of my locs I would be pulled over under suspect of being up to no good. But how does music imply that I am doing something wrong? Why can't I just like music, I thought of all of the times I've felt like it was important to explain that I like different types of music not just hip hop and how I don't talk about stereotypical things I do like watch Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (I know, terrible). This is ridiculous, I can like what I want. Then I began to think about the faces of the black men and children I've seen lying in their own blood this year. I felt a panic attack building in my chest. I went from jamming and being pumped for a meeting to wanting to pull over and wail until my heart was empty. It kept coming, now I was seeing people of all races and genders on the ground, contorted, vacant, and hearing the voices of people calling them thugs, saying they deserved it, too concerned with who thought they were racist. I couldn't breathe, I came home and recorded a short pleading video in tears, pleading that people be humane and did not post it.

 

You're probably like, really? Why not? Because I knew that I was in mourning, that I was grieving, and that would bring waves of anger, depression, and make me vulnerable to opinions. One wrong comment could cause me to make statements that could be taken out of context and used against me and my company. Those who know my heart would